One of the Greatest Answers

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Haloooo, sudah lama sekali kan saya ga nulis di blog ini. Kalau blog ibarat kamar udah berdebu dan punya banyak laba-laba. Hiii. Saya paling ga suka sama laba-laba. 


Well, so many things happened. So many! Now that I am 21, I think being 20 was the highlight of my life. I feel so much blessed in many ways. Hahaha. I mean I’ve always grateful with I had, especially my family, and I felt it was enough but I didn’t expect so many great things happen within one year.

Pertama, saya punya pacar. Well sounds silly, but, saya bukan tipe gonta-ganti pacar semacam itulah, dan bukan tipe yang kesepian banget, dan ga harus harus kudu punya pacar, cenderung dingin malah. Wqwqwq. Well, tanya pacar saya gimana dinginnya saya dulu. Ha ha ha. It just feels weird that finally i have boyfriend (although i am in that age when it’s super normal to have one) and so far this is my longest relationship ever.

Di liburan tahun 2015 kemarin, saya magang di Jakarta. How to say, it was an eye-opening experience for me. Banyak banget tahu hal-hal real seputar arsitektur. Dan bersyukur dapat kesempatan magang di Jakarta, karena disana adalah pusatnya praktek keprofesian arsitektur di Indonesia. Well bukan exactly Jakarta sih, saya tinggal di bintaro selama 3 bulan di rumah teman saya, hahaha. Lucu sekali… how life had taken me. Kalau weekend pulang ke rumah tante (kadang-kadang). Ngunjungi tempat-tempat keren bikinan arsitek-arsitek terkenal juga di jakarta. Bisa dibilang apa yang aku yakini di dunia keprofesianku semakin mantap gara-gara magang.

Anehnya, sekalipun tinggal di Bintaro yang deketan sama Jakarta Selatan. Sampai sekarang belom kesampean juga ngeliat Rumah Sakit tempat saya lahir. Saya lahir di Jakarta, terus waktu masih bayi pindah di Surabaya, dan netap di Sby.

Yang paling kocak, saya cuma pulang tingga minggu, terus berangkat lagi ke Jepang. ha ha ha. “Kemana Em?” “Ke Jepang” J - E - P - A - N - G. Anak yang seumur-umur tinggal di Surabaya ini, perginya jauuuuh banget yak. 

Sekarang udah pulang kok sayanya. Baru tiga minggu, tapi sudah kangen. hahaha. Iya kangen pokoknya belajar rajin aja disana, dapet duit banyak tiap bulannya. hahaha.

Kebetulan itu bukan pertama kalinya saya ke luar negeri. Sebelumnya pernah 2 kali ke luar negeri cuma ngikut mama, iyah iyah aja mau kemana. Pas di Jepang ha ha ha, ngerasain travelling berdua, mikirin rute subway. Makan apa, duit cukup ga. Nyasar ga. Hahaha. Pas disana nyadar banget pengalaman ke luar negeri ngantil mama ga ada apa-apanya dibanding adventure on your own. Mirip kayak waktu saya ke Bandung sendirian, atau ke rumah tante di jakarta pertama kali naik KRL sendirian padahal belum pernah, cuma rasanya di negara orang. Macem-macem rasanya. 

Di post kali ini sebenernya mau nyeritain gimana sih kok bisa itu lho saya sampe ketrima exchange ke Jepang. Yang jelas saya bekerja keras untuk mendapatkannya. Bukan cuma asal-asalan daftar. Dan saya rasa, apa yang saya berhasil raih, bukan hasil kerja keras sehari dua hari, bukan juga setahun, tapi bertahun-tahun dari saya SMA. Dimulai dari beraktifitas dari fajar hingga petang pas SMA, ikut organisasi dan mati-matian belajar bahasa Inggris. Kenapa saya baru ngerasain sekarang, mungkin sekilas ikut organisai emang gitu-gitu aja, jujur saya pun dulu jenuh, tertekan, but it made me a tougher person, dan saya pun akhirnya bisa berkomitmen lebih pas kuliah.

Well, semuanya dimulai dengan pengumuman di website International Office di kampus saya bahwa ada program exchange student untuk undergraduate ke Kumamoto University, Jepang yang merupakan salah satu partner kampus saya. Awalnya saya ga begitu tertarik, tapi semuanya berubah pas saya tahu di formulirnya ada pernyataan seperti ini.


Kenapa ini penting, karena seringkali yang orang-orang ga sadari, ketika kita mendaftar untuk program-program yang menyangkut hubungan diplomasi antar kedua buah institusi ketika seseorang dinyatakan ketrima, sekalipun kamu ga dapet beasiswa, kamu tetep kudu berangkat. 
Misalnya, pacar saya yang ketrima program pertukaran pelajar juga tapi di Korea. Di kasusnya dia, ketika dia dinyatakan diterima sebagai mahasiswa exchange, dia belum tahu apakah dia bakal dapet beasiswa dari pemerintah Korea apa ga. Kalau saat itu dia ga dapat, dia tetep harus berangkat dengan biaya sendiri, dan tentunya hidup disana dengan uang sendiri, karena diterimanya si dia sebagai mahasiswa exchange menyangkut hubungan baik antara kampus saya dan kampusnya dia yang di Korea itu. Sayang banget kan, kerja keras kampus di Indonesia, kalau sampe sedikit renggang, padahal ngebangun relasi supaya kampus di luar negeri sampai mau nerima mahasiswa dari kampus asal kita juga pasti butuh kerja keras. 

Karena saya paham hal-hal seperti ini, akhirnya saya metutuskan “Wah, kudu daftar ini. Kudu dapet, kudu usaha maksimal, kalau ga dapat beasiswa toh jelas ga berangkat.” Dan saya tidak akan merugikan pihak manapun

Saya rasa, waktu itu kesempatan terakhir saya untuk bisa keluar negeri gratis, dengan status mahasiswa institusi tertentu, dan saya juga sudah semester 6. Okelah kapan lagi, pergi keluar negeri gratisan adalah salah satu target saya sebelum lulus kuliah, walupun saya ga narget exchange, summer program pun oke, tapi sebelum ke Jepang beberapa kali daftar ga ketrima dan kadang ada kesempatan tapi ga sreg karena mepet UAS dan sebagainya. 

Sejujurnya, saya juga ngerasa penasaran karena waktu itu pacar saya lagi di Korea, dan yaaa selakyaknya orang pacaran, saling berkabar kirim-kirim foto gimana disana. I was sooo curious, how it feels like, for me, to experience living abroad, meeting different people, that finally i applied for another exchange program. Walaupun pengalaman kita berdua bisa dibilang bener-bener berbeda, dengan kampusnya yang di pusat kota Seoul, kampusnya beberapa personal SNSD dan Seung Ri Big Bang dan beberapa artis lainnya yang sungguh gemerlap, Ha ha ha, dan kampus saya bisa dibilang sekalipun di kota, adalah kota kecil di Jepang yang damai, dan tidak ramai. But still both are life changing experience for us. 

Anyway, jadi inilah persyaratan yang dulu dibutuhkan
2. Required Documents•Application for Kumamoto University Short-Term Exchange Program (For Undergraduate)  ※Fill out EXCEL file•Application for Certificate of Eligibility•Application for the International House•Certificate of Enrollment (issued by home university)•Academic Record (official home university transcript)•Letter of recommendation
•Health certificate•Four photographs (40mm×30mm)•A copy of the first page of applicant’s passport [Non-native English speaking applicants for E Course (program in English) only]•A copy of TOEFL score record•(If applicants do not have TOEFL score record, a Certificate of English Ability equivalent to TOEFL iBT score of 61 or over, issued by the home university is acceptable.)

Buat undergraduate exchange formnya itu ada dua essay yang kudu ditulis, yang satu ngomongin tentang bidang studi yang saya pelajari yaitu arsitektur, yang satunya ngomongin study plan. Jujur, lagi-lagi saya kebantu juga sama essaynya pacar saya pas ke Korea. Well, I have to admit his essay was so good that he became the only man who got the scholarship from the Korean Government in his university, yang lainnya cewek. So reading his essay, helped me to set how good it should be. Dan setelah baca essaynya saya sadar, oalah, pantesan saya ga pernah ketrima kalau daftar-daftar program-program keluar negeri gratisan tapi yang 10 hari gitu-gitu. Hahaha. Kurang niat! Akhirnya saya ga tidur semalam buat nyelesain dua essay itu, padahal sebelumnya udah dicicil-cicil. Biar mantap. Pokoknya kudu joss! *apasih Em.
Pengalaman uniknya, dosen saya sempat menolak ketika saya minta surat rekomendasi. Kenapa? Karena beliau merasa beliau bukan siapa-siapa, beliau belom doktor dan professor. Beliau bilang coba kamu minta ke Prof ini deh pasti dikasih, soalnya sekalipun beliau ga kenal kamu, beliau pasti ngasih atas nama institusi. Tapi entahlah aku rasa aneh kalau harus kayak gitu, dan Saya highly respect dengan Bapak Dosen yang saya minta rekomendasi, akhirnya tetep sama beliau.

Nah yang paling luar biasa perjuangannya, adalah… IELTS. hahaha. kenapa IELTS? jadi kebetulan di kampus saya ada liaison officenya Kumamoto Univ, dan saya tanya-tanya sama Mbak petugasnya soal gimana sebaiknya sertifikat bahasa Inggris yang dikumpulkan, apa TOEFL ITP apalah itu diterima. Intinya sih TOEFL keluaran institusi kampus diterima, cuma beliau ga sengaja cerita bahwa orang Jepang pernah bilang, kenapa sih orang Indonesia kalau daftar ga pernah pake sertifikat bahasa Inggris internasional yang resmi semacam TOEFL IBT atau IELTS. Gara-gara, beliau bilang seperti itu, akhirnya Saya merasa wah ada peluang lebih buat saya. Saya merasa bahasa Inggris saya ga jelek-jelek amat lah ya, bisa dicoba lah tes IELTS biar lebih ada poin plus, bahwa saya benar benar mampu berbahasa Inggris dengan baik dengan tes standar internasional.

Setelah browsing-browsing dan menimbang-menimbang, kalaupun saya ga ketrima ke Jepang masa berlaku sertifikat IELTSnya masih bisa dibuat daftar ke kampus di luar negeri setelah lulus, akhirnya saya mengajukan diri ke orangtua buat minta duit. Iya gaada duit sebanyak itu buat tes IELTS. Dan hanya dengan waktu satu bulan saya belajar otodidak, diselingi dengan mengerjakan kegiatan yang lain.

Akhirnya tes IELTS satu minggu sebelum pengumpulan tugas perancangan yang ga ketulungan itu… wes bismillah lah yo. Itu tes Bahasa Inggris paling sulit yang pernah saya ikuti, setelah 3 jam, writing, listening, dan reading non stop, rasanya otak panas. Fyuuuh. Btw, tesnya ketat banget parah, kalah jauh UNAS. Bohong banget standarnya UN itumah kalau udah pernah ngerasain tes IELTS. Dan saya rasa waktu itu saya mengerjakan dengan baik, dan hasilnya alhamdulillah baik dan layak untuk dikumpulkan.
Rasanya perjuangan saya di hari-hari melelahkan selama SMP-SMA, untuk tetap pergi les Bahasa Inggris, no matter what. Saya rasa pondasi Bahasa Inggris saya yang kuat pas les di Kelt (saya sebutkan nih institusinya) selama 5 tahun setengah nonstop yang ngebuat saya bisa cuma belajar satu bulan, itupun ga setiap hari.

Dan yang terakhir, begitu saya tahu bahwa surat rekomendasinya bisa ada dua. Saya minta satu lagi ke ketua organisasi dimana selama setahun sebelum saya ke Jepang, saya menghabiskan waktu jatah berorganisasi kampus. Jadilah surat rekomen saya dua.

Dan dokumen-dokumen tersebut dikirim ke Jepang untuk diseleksi pihak sana. Dan akhirnya keluar nama saya bersama tiga nama lainnya untuk mewakili kampus tercinta.

And… the rest is history. Saya tinggal 5 bulan di Kumamoto, Jepang. LDRan lagi. Pacar saya pulang exchange dari Korea, ketemu 2 bulan apa ya, itupun kejar-kejaran antara Surabaya Jakarta, terus saya berangkat lagi ke Jepang. Untuk pertama kalinya ngerasain Autumn dan winter. Jalan-jalan ke Awaji Yumebutai (Bagus bangeeet!), melewati suspension bridge dengan span terpanjang sedunia (Akashi Kaikyo Bridge),  naik ke tower paling tinggi sedunia, Tokyo Sky Tree, dan yang paling mengharukan mengunjungi tempat yang dulu cuma bisa saya jadikan wallpaper desktop saya. 

Awaji Yumebutai early December 2016. The best place I visited!

My wallpaper

Sayamaike Museum when I visited.
I didn't rain for long time i guess, and it was kind of dirty. but still nice.

View of Tokyo at night, from Tokyo SkyTree

Main angklung bersama geng PPIJK (Persatuan Pelajar Indonesia Jepang Kumamoto)

Surprise ulang tahun saya bersama roomate, Mia dan teman-teman yang tidak difoto

Tentunya semua itu bukan tanpa pengorbanan. Saya cuti kuliah selama satu semester, dan ketika saya daftar pun saya tahu mungkin saya harus cuti. Karena ga bisa transfer credit. Tapi saya dari awal sudah mantap, walaupun waktu saya berangkat ke Jepang, dosen wali saya marah besar, karena beliau pingin saya lulus tepat waktu dan sebagainya, tapi saya sudah mantap. Yasudahlah. Saya rasa memang sepadan, tidak ada salahnya lulus telat asalkan diisi degan hal-hal positif. 

Lucu rasanya kalau dipikir-pikir bagaimana saya dulu, kecewa ketika saya diterima masuk di kampus saya sekarang. Tapi saya waktu itu paham, pasti ada alasannya kenapa saya diterima disini, ditempatkan disini, waktu itu keyakinan saya membuat saya jauh lebih baik dalam menerima kenyataan. saya cari terus jawabannya, dan jawabannya mulai keluar satu persatu seiring dengan berjalannya tahun. And I feel this one is one of the greatest answers why i am here. 

*PS jangan terpengaruh cerita saya diatas terus takut ga daftar program exchange krn ga punya IELTS. Saya sendiri tahu beberapa teman saya yang cuma pake TOEFL kampus tapi bisa lolos erasmus, semuanya ada di kelebihan diri dan usaha masing-masing. Good luck.

To the Future We Surrender

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Sebenarnya, dari awal saya menulis blog ini saya bertekad tidak akan menulis hal-hal yang terlalu pribadi, terutama terkait masalah percintaan. Di sisi lain dengan menulis blog ini, saya sendiri bisa melihat bagaimana saya berkembang lewat tulisan-tulisan saya di blog ini. Ketika membaca ulang post-post di blog ini, bisa dibilang saya masih bisa merasakan apa yang saya pikirkan dan rasakan saat itu. Bagaimana sedihnya lulus SMA, bagaimana rasanya beradaptasi di semester awal kuliah, pelajaran-pelajaran hidup selama kuliah, saya pun menulisnya walupun tidak semuanya, dan saya rasa... kali ini mungkin tidak apa-apa kalau saya menulis tentang hal-hal yang paling sering disinggung di hampir semua novel, lagu, dan bahkan arsitektur. Hahaha

Beberapa hari yang lalu saya sempat membuat heboh timeline Line karena mengganti foto profil dengan seorang cowok. Teman - teman saya kaget,  menurut mereka tidak ada angin tidak ada hujan, tiba-tiba saya punya pacar. Well, sebenarnya nggak gitu juga. Banyak hal yang terjadi semasa kuliah. Ups and down related to this relationship things. It happened. Cuma saya memilih untuk biasa saja dan lebih sering update status tentang stressnya kuliah. *grin

Pada awalnya saya sama sekali tidak percaya kalau dia naksir saya. Tidak sama sekali. Saya pikir itu cuma bercanda. Dan ketika dia mengajak saya keluar, yang ada di pikiran saya cuma, mungkin dia saking buntunya sampe mengajak saya keluar. Dan ketika saya mulai berpikir bahwa sepertinya itu benar, justru saya yang menolak secara halus, karena banyak hal buruk di pikiran saya. Saya takut pacaran. Saya takut sakit hati. Saya masih nggak ngerti harus percaya sama cowok yang seperti apa, karena yang menurut kita baik belum tentu baik, dan salah satu alasannya adalah hal-hal konyol seperti karena menurut saya dia terlalu tampan buat saya. 

Di sisi lain, saya mengerti betul kalau dia bulan ini akan berangkat ke Korea dalam rangka student exchange selama satu semester. Sampai - sampai salah seorang teman saya di kantor yang lebih tua, dan tentu saja lebih berpengalaman bilang begini, "Pe em, hatinya dibuka ya. Habis ini dia mau pergi ke Korea loh, jangan sampe kamu nyesel karena nolak." Saya masih aja keukeuh saat itu, saya bilang ke diri saya sendiri. "You're not ready for another broken heart. No just no. Look at him, he's so handsome. He could get another girl easily and dump you." Tegarkan dirimu Em untuk tidak tertarik. Hahaha. Padahal sebenarnya tidak ada masalah dari dianya. 

Tapi akhirnya saya luluh juga. Hahaha. Bukan karena dia ganteng. Bukan. Saya bisa melihat kesungguhannya di tindakannya. Dan ketika dia menyatakan, saya pun mengiyakan. Lucunya, atau mungkin sedihnya, beberapa hari setelah itu dia berangkat ke Jakarta, stay beberapa hari disana, dan setelah itu langsung ke Korea selama satu semester. 

Suasana setelah kami jadian, antara senang dan sedih. Entahlah. Sulit dijelaskan. Kadang di sela-sela waktu luang ketika kami pergi makan bareng, kami saling diam karena sedih. Tapi sok sok tegar. But still, we had fun.

Kemarin Jum'at akhirnya saya mengantarkan dia ke Bandara, bersama dua orang teman kosannya. Untungnya temannya ini bisa bikin jokes-jokes yang bikin lupa kalau dia bakal pergi beberapa menit lagi. Pada akhirnya... it was time to said goodbye. Mungkin kalau berdua doang, saya pasti udah nangis di bandara, karena kami pasti sama - sama mellownya. 

Malem itu, akhirnya saya pulang dijemput bapak saya lagi, hehehe, padahal sebelum-sebelumnya selalu pulang sama dia, beliau sampe tanya, "Gimana tadi? Pake nangis - nangis segala?" sambil mesam mesem. Hahaha

Untuk mengiyakan sebenarnya tidak segampang itu juga, banyak hal yang sudah saya pikirkan sampai akhirnya saya berani juga. Saya ingat betul waktu awal - awal saya sering diantar dia, ibu saya bilang begini, "Put, sudah yakin betul sama yang ini? Kamu tau kan rasanya sakit hati itu gimana. Kamu itu harus bisa ngebedain mana perasaan yang datangnya dari Allah dan perasaan yang cuma sesaat." Jujur waktu itu, saya terenyak. Saya. enggak. ngerti. Gimana cara ngebedainnya. I have no idea. Ibu saya memang kadang kelewat serius, karena beliau dulu pacaran pertama kalinya langsung sama bapak saya dan bisa bertahan ke jenjang pernikahan dan sekarang pun masih mesra. 

Jujur saat itu saya sempat parno - parno sendiri. Saya nggak mungkin juga kan tau - tau menjauh karena saya beneran nggak ngerti ini perasaan anugrah Allah atau cuma sesaat, sementara ada cowok baik - baik yang ngebuat saya sreg ada di depan mata. Akhirnya saya ngerti kudu ngapain, saya cuma kudu senantiasa berdoa dan percaya sama yang diatas, rencana Allah pasti yang terbaik. 

Saya cukup ngerti banyak hal-hal buruk terjadi. Saya jelas pernah sakit hati, ngerasa down, kalah. Saya juga dengar sendiri cerita-cerita dari teman saya. "Pacarku so sweet banget Em awalnya, tapi ujung-ujungnya aku yo ditinggal." Atau liat sendiri teman saya yang sudah punya pacar masih suka deket - deket cewek lain. Banyak sekali. Atau bukan cuma cowok, ceweknya kadang juga aneh - aneh. 

Di zaman yang makin edan ini, banyak banget orang cerai. Ibu saya yang seorang dosen, beberapa kali dicurhati mahasiswanya yang depresi karena orang tuanya selingkuh dan sebagainya. Dan mungkin ibu saya, sebagai orang yang jauh lebih dewasa, tahu sendiri bagaimana pernikahan bisa berakhir tidak menyenangkan. Tapi apa dengan begitu ibu saya jadi parno dan jadi nggak percaya sama bapak saya, nggak juga kan. 

Saya jadi ingat cerita seorang raja yang pernah bermimpi bahwa dia akan dibunuh anaknya sendiri di masa depan. Saking takutnya raja tersebut akhirnya memenjarakan putranya supaya si anak tersebut tidak bisa membunuhnya. Padahal justru karena anak tersebut dipenjara oleh ayahnya sendiri, dia jadi benci setengah mati sama ayahnya, dan akhirnya ketika dia dewasa, si anak tersebut membunuh ayahnya sendiri. 

Pada akhirnya rasa takut itu pasti ada, bukan karena saya LDR Surabaya - Seoul, kalau emang niat ya bisa-bisa aja nikung padahal satu kampus, sebagai manusia cuma bisa pasrah, kita bahkan nggak pernah ngerti kan kita hidup sampai kapan. 

Semoga dengan menulis ini saya akan senantiasa ingat untuk tidak dikalahkan dan dikuasai oleh rasa takut. Karena pada akhirnya setakut apapun manusia tidak bisa berbuat apapun kalau memang itu kehendak yang diatas. Karena manusia terkadang lupa, khilaf. Cuma bisa berdoa untuk selalu ingat dengan yang Di Atas dan percaya. Semuanya sudah ada yang mengatur. Yang baik akan dibalas, dan yang buruk juga akan dibalas. 

"To the future we surrender, life's to live, and love's to love... " Float - Surrender

So Finally I Post This!

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(actually written in August 2014)

I've reading books a lot lately, they're novels. Young adult novels to be more specific. I used to read novels a lot and I stopped in my last year of high school. Not because that I didn't have time to read, I just didn't enjoy it anymore. And there was more drama in life that I think I can make a novel about it. Heheh. So I stopped. Although, I kept buying some English books, that I thought I would read because they're in English so I can practice. But it turned out that they stayed in my bookshelf for about hmm… two years, until last semester when I found some of my university friends (well actually They were just Hesty and Fandi) brought novels to campus, and shared them, it encouraged me to read my novels again. English novels. 


Some of the books that I kept for years turned out to be really good, some just boring, but I managed to finish them anyway. But in this post, I'm not gonna write my opinion about books that I've kept for years. This post is about books that I bought lately, and I still can't get enough of it because I found so many good young adult books.

What is young adult genre? It mostly tells about coming of age story, usually the character is in her/his last year of high school and facing a lot of things: lover, and sometimes complicated family problem. Mostly they came from a dysfunctional family, their dad left them when they were kid, divorced family, stuff like that. 

In young adult novels, it is about growing up; discovering yourself; being a better you. In the end, the characters wouldn't have saved the world, like Katniss Everdeen, or Tris from Divergent. That's why I have always liked this genre. It feels real, it shows how being a better you, takes time and it is never easy.


Every Day by David Levithan

First novel I read this year (last year). Two weeks before ITS Expo, or just a week, I forget. I had intention to buy this book when I first saw it in Periplus because I accidentally read a lot of good opinion about this book on amazon.com, a few days before.
I was surprised when I couldn't put this book down. Finished in one night, less than 12 hours. It was a long time since I read something so good. 

Actually, it is not a pure young adult, it is mixed with fantasy. After Twilight success, there are a lot of books with creatures not human that fell in love with human. And I think how creative Levithan is to come up with this story. As the story tells, A is a 'creature' that always moves from someone's body to another, every day. Because of this, I really have no idea what will happen next, where he will be, and it surprise me in a good way. 
You know when you read a book, something surprising mostly come up, to make the plot twist, that pissed me off, sometimes, because some of the plot twist don't come up naturally. It just there to make the story climax. 
I'm also like spoiler. But that time, I didn't want to know, and I had no idea. And I'm glad that Levithan finished this book in a beautiful way. I was relieved and happy with the ending.
Although, this book is somewhat gloomy, I give this 5 out of 5 stars.


Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell

This is a book about being in university! Really! And I loooveee it! The characters in this book worry about their GPA (well it's just Levi), struggle to study, think about their far-away family, and how heart broken it is when you think that you're on the right track, choosing a subject because you think you have passion in it and sure as hell that you will get a high score. But it don't turn out to be like that. (This actually sounds like me, but the main character, Cath, faces this too). Those small problems that happen in this book are what we, as university students, face. And I praise Raibow Rowell to mix all this daily problems, connect them to the story without being too much, and still make her novel turns to be special.

All tough I love this book, some times I had a hard time understanding the main character. She just wouldn't make friends, she even doesn't want to go to the cafeteria because she hates meeting people, and I hate that. Even this is a novel, it reminds my self that changing your habit is hard in reality, it needs process, that's when I understand Cath. 
I also like the main character's love interest: Levi, because of his kindness. I don't know how to say this in English, but one thing that I like about him is that: telaten banget sama Cath. No wonder he wins her heart. This book also has the character illustrated on the back front cover, and it is not a realistic type, this way readers still can expand their imagination on how they look like in real life. 

Levi and Cath, from the book back cover illustration, and Thibaut.

And… because I'm into football lately, I have always imagined Levi in real life looks like Belgian goalkeeper: Thibaut Courtois with blonde hair. Well i know it maybe weird if he has blonde hair, but yeah I imagine it that way. wkwkwk
I was lucky to get this book. It was the last stock in Periplus GM, and it actually belonged to someone else, the book was someone's request but she/he didn't pick up the book for such a long time that so that the shopkeeper let me to buy it.
Thank you to Mbak Hesti who made a line status about how good the book is. I rate this book 5 out of 5.


Abundance of Katherine by John Green

 My first John Green novel, because I dislike story with death occurs in it, that's why I wouldn't buy The Fault in Our Stars, but after I read the first chapter of TFIOS as the bonus of this book, I think I'll give it a try.

 I like the moral value that the ending gives but I have no interest about the character at all, except Hassan because he is a muslim and I was surprised to find a practiced muslim featured in American teenage novel. 
I give this book 3.5 out of 5 stars because John Green has put an mathematical formula (hell yes you will find a mathematical explanation inside) and anagrams into a story about growing up and finding yourself. 


Will Grayson, Will Grayson by John Green and David Levithan

I bought this book because I was curious about the inside, the explanation about the story from the back cover weren't enough, and people rate this book in amazon.com  positive. Besides they are John Green and David Levithan so yeah this book is somewhat trusted to be good.

In this book, Green and Levithan write their own Will Grayson. Green's Will Grayson is a normal boy comes from a family of doctors who keep his feeling save by refusing to date. And I was surprised when I found out that the other Grayson, Levithan's, is a gay.   I never have gay friend in my life and reading this book of the gay Grayson part just seems not right. I'm so sorry. 

Besides the gay Will Grayson, the normal Grayson has a very interesting love story. I often find myself couldn't put up reading the Grayson gay part, and fastened my reading to that I can reach to the normal Grayson chapter again.  

John Green's dialogs are often witty, and I like how Grayson and his friends interest of indie music. Green's Grayson dialog with his love interest, Jane is soo interesting. I couldn't wait what come up next between them. And again, just like what John Green did in Abundance of Katherine, he did a relationship metaphor using a scientific thing.

It seems kinda impossible in real life that two person with the same name meet each other and then develop a friendship, but this story is originally inspired by David Levithan's other half, David Leventhal. They went to Brown University (Emma Watson's univ in America) together, although they didn't know each other, they often received mixed calls, emails, because of their look-a-like name. And David Leventhal who was a dancer was often mistaken as Levithan by Levithan's friends. Some friends would come up to him and said, "Wow you look clumsy in real life, last night I watched your performance and I never thought you could dance like that." 

I give this book 4 stars out of 5


My Life Next Door by Huntley Fitzpatrick

I fell in love with the two main characters in this book. I like how Samatha keep working hard although she's rich and never give a fuss about that. I imagine Jase Garet, Samantha's love interest, is the kind of person you will notice in real life. Not like Levi, Jase gets his charm because he is the kind of macho type. He is good at fixing machines, and works a lot, delivering newspaper six days a week at four in the morning. He bought his own car, a secondhand car, and modified it himself.  

This was the kind of book you would enjoy even the story is unlikely to happen. That a bit fairy tale type. And everything was fine until the story reach its climax. It just ughhhh…. I mean there must be something else that can make the story twist. Not like that. 

I also disappointed with the ending. It was a happy ending, but so many things are unresolved. How about Nan, Samantha's best friends? about Jase study? Nan is one of the main problem that Samantha faces, but the ending doesn't give any hints about that.

I read in Huntley's website that she will have a book published in 2015 related to this story, the main character will be Nan's brother and Jase's sister, and maybe that's why Huntley kept some things unresolved in the end. Just maybe.

Despite the climax and the ending that I don't like, everything is good, I really enjoyed reading 3/4 of the book. Fell in love with both characters in the story which affects me to remember good things about the book. Sometimes it gets so funny because of George, Jase's brother. 

I give this book 3 stars out of 5.


There's two more novels actually that I read, but those are not my favorites. Anyway I read My Life Next Door in the pdf format, and you can email me if you want or just search in google, but you have to be patient making sure if the link really contain an ebook to be downloaded. 

I'm planning to buy another John Green novel, not sure which one. Just three left and death occurs in the two of them, it left me Paper Town. But Looking for Alaska is so good that it won an award, and you know how things going around with The Fault in Our Star. I'm also waiting for Rainbow Rowell's Eleanor & Park, the Periplus staff said to me that I have to wait for a month but it is fine, because I couldn't love Fangirl anymore and actually Eleanor & Park is more famous that Fangirl, and won an award.

(so after I finished this reviews I bought Eleanor & Park. So I’m writing this review 4 months after I read the book)


Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell

Honestly, even this book get an award but Fangirl does not, I didn’t enjoy reading this book to much. I just didn’t fall with the both character, especially Eleanor. I know this is very subjective I don’t judge based on the storyline. The storyline is complicated, somewhat dark but I believe a lot of girl out there are having this problems. Maybe it’s so complicated for me that I didn’t enjoy it (I always prefer the book that makes me happy, unless it’s that good)

I give this novel 4 out of 5 stars


So now I'm in holiday again, but... (writing this makes me wanna cry) No I'm not. Sadly I'm not in a holiday. I have to do all of those works that I have to do. But once yes is yes right? I want to go to somewhere really sooner, even be able to visit Galaxy and buy something will make me better. I haven't visit anything relaxing after all the academic deadline, and then I have another already. I went to Batu last week, but I did feel under pressured do to something I haven't finished (I sound that frustrated, not grateful, bad, doesn't I? So maybe I have to end this post) Bye

In Between The Concrete Beams

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I'm doing my design assignment worth 8 credits right now, and... I'm stuck, kinda stressed out. I like studying architecture, but being stressed even if it's about something that you like is still normal right?

When you think a lot, considering many things, no field study in this world is easy, even it seems like that. Oh yeah architecture, designing, the form. Most people always think like that, even I thought like that. Hoh. I never thought that architect integrates a lot of things. Yeah A LOT. An architect considering structures, plumbing, mechanical electrical, air system, so on. When my assignment finished I will show you how complex a building is.

It's not that I never consider about structures, plumbing, bla... bla... bla... before, I do, and realize the principle of it, but I do admit that I never show them in my drawing, because my lecturer didn't ask us, and nobody drew them, so why should I? I even finished the last semester design awfully but now... everything is different... and my head my heart feels like gonna explode thinking about all this room programming thingy, how to make your building looks good, and feel good, and make it work, with all the structure, electrical, plumbing, air system, and so on.

Still, under construction...


And I'm not gonna surrender. I can't
Currently listening
Alt - J another awesome british band, unique sound, fits anxiety well. I don't listen much to the lyrics it just feels like that. Anw, they also make a one-of-kind music video, I never seen things being interpreted like that. It might be inappropriate for some people, but let's take it easy and think of it as an art. Well, Check this out 

Bye, back to sketch up. Wish me luck, and doing good!

To Capture is to Being Fun!

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I know I seem like someone who like photography that much, but no i don't. Photos that you see in magazines and all have been retouched to be that stunningly beautiful. Well I do think photography is somehow a lie, what is served mostly is not original from the camera.

My father love photography. I know how complicated it is to make a damn good picture. Even if you already captured the best, you still have to put it in the Lightroom or Photoshop to enhance it. But I guess it goes the same back then photographer being in the dark room, mixing chemicals and creating unique photos, but nowadays it is done with Photoshop.

But then after years of a lil bit hating it, I kinda fell in love with it, and it comes in the simplest form of photography: I just use my phone as the main gear and tadaaa. It's great. Just some click put that in some photo apps and you get a unique picture instantly. (I do admit I'm a part of generation Y who love instant things)

I use a iPhone 4 to take all of these pictures. Easy gear to bring in everyday!

These cat pictures are cats that usually wonder around my campus. I never intentionally want to take a series of cat picture really, it just happens when I saw something unique, I just pressed click. Hohoho

 I was still trying to make a good composition. But she looks cute

My favorite photo :3. anw her name is Gastri. The most beautiful cat.



Gastri strikes again


She is Nessa, Wkwkwk.
Animal, nature, human. With a smart usage your phone can do.

Tempu rejo Village, South Malang

Sempu Island


Bromoooo....







All the pictures above are taken using hipstamatic. The very best photography apps, it's not free but it's really worth it.
Just found this Award, IPPAWADS iPhone photography awards since 2007. Click here.
So confused to choose which one is the best. I think I have to learn about composition and capture more. As photographer Henri Cartier Bresson said "Your first 10.000 photographs are your worst."

Holiday and Thoughts

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Sulit dipercaya Senin besok saya sudah masuk kuliah. Saya menghabiskan seluruh masa liburan saya sebagai salah satu volunteer unit di kampus. Karena saya orang Surabaya jadinya sering dipanggil ke kampus, dan secara tidak disengaja dapat libur cuma seminggu, ya pas lebaran itu. Tapi entah karena liburnya cuma seminggu, atau gimana, Lebaran kemarin bener-bener one of the best I've ever had. Saya pergi ke Madura, sama Madiun, buat jalan-jalan sekaligus ketemu sanak saudara.


Akhir-akhir ini setiap kali di jurusan saya sering ditanya "PM kemana aja? kok nggak pernah kelihatan." Padahal saya setiap hari ngampus kok, ke gedung pas disebelah jurusan saya. Ehehehe. Beberapa kali waktu saya lagi di kantor terus jalan ke masjid buat sholat maghrib, saya denger suara ketawa anak-anak dari hima yang emang sebelahan sama rektorat. Dan itu bikin kangen banget buat bikin acara bareng teman-teman jurusan. Bantuin mereka. Tapi gimana lagi, sudah berkomitmen buat disini, dan nggak kuat juga kalau ndobel. 

Atau buat beberapa orang yang follow instagram saya banyak yang bilang, "PM asik deh jalan-jalan terus." Tapi saya toh cuma senyum-senyum aja. Buat orang-orang yang tahu, ada banyak keras dibalik sekedar jalan-jalan itu. Mengutip lagu 90an punya The Verve, "Cause it's a bittersweet symphony this life."

Kadang nggak cuma kerja keras aja, mental juga diasah banget. Cocok dan nggak cocok ketika kerja. Hal-hal simpel yang memicu semangat. Macem-macem banget lah. Kadang aku ngerasa liburan ini semacam akselerasi kehidupan to be a better person.

Kapan itu saya ngobrol sama salah seorang teman dekat saya via line, dia bilang kalau dia pingin punya usaha karena banyak temen-temen sekosannya yang punya usaha. Saya jadi ingat awal liburan saya punya plan buat bikin usaha notebook handmade, tapi akhirnya nggak jadi. Bahkan notebook buat semester depan, which means Senin besok, aja belom selese. 

Tapi saya nggak nyesel sama sekali sih. In the end, saya pun sadar. Ketika saya yakin sama apa yang saya kerjakan saat ini, kita nggak bakal iri sama apa yang orang lain dapetin dan nggak akan bingung-bingung lagi mau ngapain. Jadi inget, dulu belajar clay dari kelas 6 SD akhir, setiap weekend mesti eles, terus baru dapet duit dari hasil bikin clay pas SMA, sekarang sudah nggak bikin clay lagi. Hahaha. Dulu sering banget gagal kalau mau bikin apa-apa, beli sepatu buat di cat biar bagus tapi gagal, terus gamau pake sepatunya karena jelek. Dulu juga gagal bikin notebook sendiri (padahal sudah pede pake kertas canson) tapi sekarang sudah bisa, beberapa kali ngguntingin baju niatnya supaya bisa dimodif eh malah ngerusak, tapi sekarang sudah bisa njahit baju sendiri. Lucunya ya proses kehidupan, hal-hal yang awalnya dipikir buang-buang duit tapi ujung-ujungnya kalau ga pernah "buang-buang duit" itu saya juga ga akan bisa bikin macem-macem. Mhihihi. Sama juga kan ya kayak jatuh cinta, kalau ga pernah sakit ati banget juga ga bakal belajar. #alah

Salam hangat,

Dari jeep pas perjalanan ke Bromo (kiri ke kanan): Caroline dari China, Saya, Rizal orang Surabaya juga, anak Tekla, Lily dari Vietnam, Lee dari Malaysia, Addin dari Ethiopia. 

Comes Like a Surprise Ice from The Water

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As an architecture student I've met a lot of people who can draw much better than me. They got the real talent of drawing. They draw fast, undistorted, even with limited color palettes they can make it astonishing.

Then I realized that drawing is not about proportion, balance, vanishing point, color combination, or similar things that I learn in university, drawing is also a skill not merely a talent. And just like any other skill, it needs practice. And I chose to believe that the first thing I had to do is just being brave to see my surrounding and documenting them as a form of drawing. It'll take years to improve, and we'll see...


Human is an adaptive creatures, and it's amazing how people do something to their house despite the limitation. 


He sold this one just a month ago. I'm so sad. My favourite shoes among his collection. So I was lucky to have this sketches.

I was bored. So yeah... even it's distorted everywhere.



One of some unique houses in Kampung Arab. Walked here writing a report for a student magazine. Thank you for Mba Inas who accompanied me. I was forced to finish this drawing faster because it started raining.

My campus library at night. 



A scene from my favourite music video by NONONO. I fell in love with the guy's sweater and the rabbit he carried. Not sure until now what was the video about. But I can can tell that this guy was having a tough time and he danced his problems away, inside a coffee shop, or above a rocky mountain  facing the sea after sunrise. Beautiful. Somehow I wish I was him.

Whether You Listen to Songs What They Rarely Listen or not

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I can't play music but music has been a kind of important in my life. I listen to music everyday, mostly because I just want to, but during crucial times in facing ups and downs in live music makes me feeling much better. When I feel so bad, I prefer listening to alternative rock songs which nobody-doesn't-really-know-what-is-the-actual-meaning-of-the-song-unless-the-composer-itself. Usually after I got things off my chest I would listen to some songs that make me calm, so when the bad thing strikes again I will be ready. But it depends on my mood tough, still. 

The funny thing is when something bad happen and during that time I listen to a particular song, that problem sticks with the song forever. Even after years, when Arctic Monkeys' Old Yellow Brick get accidentally played in my library I still remember how listening to that song helped me to move on back then, even the song isn't about moving on at all. Apart from the song actual meaning which I never really know, nobody knows except Alex Turner, the lyric which says "Old yellow brick, love's a risk" and another part about "blinded by nostalgia" and "revel in nostalgia" made me think a lot. Remembering good times back then can make us feeling happy but sad at the same time. But this song reminds me not to revel and be blinded by nostalgia because future awaits us and that our life must go on.

Not only about facing the hard times, music can also bring happiness in our life. At least, that's in my life. Some songs can simply put a smile in my face, because of the moment told. Or simply I am happy when I find a really good song, and the happy feeling when I find that my friends shares the same music interest as me is good but unfortunately it rarely happens. I tends listening to songs most people don't listen to because I don't want to. But because I simply likes music what people rarely likes. 

Back then in high school I still listen to "normal" pop song, like Taylor Swift, Maroon 5, or you can say billboard-based, and I guess I am the only one who like Arctic Monkeys and listen to it in my class. But when I went to university I was so happy to find that some people are just like me. Listen to Arctic Monkeys and a lot indie and old songs because simply we think they are good. I even believe in some people taste of music because I know that they share the same interest as me. 

Lately after I discovered Blur, Kings of Convenience, The Cure, and more, I wanted to discovered more and more music. It's addictive for me knowing the band I haven't heard or the band I ever heard but don't know the songs, created songs that suits me well. Usually I use youtube to discover music because the site gives you recommendations. But mostly it gets tiring because it's like gambling to click an audio-video to play but you never know most people reactions about the song whether it's good or bad. Mostly I used wikipedia to help me, because they have a brief introduction about the band, and what's the band hits. But still I find this uncomfortable and ineffective.

But thanks God, internet nowadays has everything. I finally sign in to LAST.FM which is an internet based music recommendation service. I think it is one of the most genius thing internet has. 

My last.fm profile page

After you sign up for last.fm user, you have to download the last.fm scrobbler application based on the kind of music player you use and install it to your computer or phone, etc. For me, I use iTunes for listening to music, and I also has last.fm Scrobbler in my phone. After that, the last.fm scrobbler will detect all the songs you have in your library and how many times you had them played. As long as the application running, even if your computer or phone is not connected to the internet they still detect which track you play and how many, later when the device is connected to the internet they will store the information into your last.fm profile.



My Top Tracks


How Last.fm Scrobbler appears in my desktop

After they detect artists from your music library they will recommend you new artist based on artist you have in your library. The recommendation varies every time you refresh the page, so many artist to listen. 


Last.fm also has every artist basic information on it, and the most useful thing is they list every band tracks with the number of listeners. Therefore, you will get to know the band hit songs and usually the higher number of listeners a song has, the more appealing it is to your ear. This is very useful for me because I used to open wikipedia along with youtube to get to know about the new artist I was exploring and I rarely get new music that I like. 
For example this is a last.fm artist page for JB, but not Justin Bieber; Jake Bugg. Eheheh




There are a lot of things to explore in last.fm. I can't explain this all in this post because it will take too long. The funny thing is just like another social media, last.fm allows you to make a friend. If it's Facebook, the connection between you and new people is based on how many mutual friends you both have, in last.fm it is about musical compatibility.

He was in my neighbor feature, they are people who has the same taste and artist as you, and I was surprised that he likes some of the songs I really like. And I listen to what he like and it turned out good!



I have known last.fm for about two years before I started myself. It was bothering me because I knew that I had to download an application and install it. But I regretted this later, because since I signed up for last.fm this has been one of the things I missed the most in the internet. 



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